The Story When I Saved a Lady & Brought Justice to the Situation

Tonight there were two big tough guys pushing around a lady in downtown Minneapolis. She wasn’t pushing back. It was angry and getting worse, and like a fool, I decided to rescue the woman.

Tonight was a great night. I hosted an event at the Alibi, a bar in Minneapolis I’ve been scouting for a while. I met a woman I’ve been talking to some January. She was pretty cool, and we got along well. I met another woman who likes me, too. I was on. We were dancing and talking, and just having a good time.

Knowing that I am Mr. Subtle, and I was quite subtle with them both, which they were both really liking it. But I know I can’t maintain that for more than a couple hours. Until you know him, Justin in small doses is best for everyone!

I left Alibi. When I was nearing my ramp, I decided to write an email. I forgot to close my tab. So I emailed them asking them to close it and to tip everyone (I had my card). As I was emailing, two guys and a woman were walking down 7th Street.

The two guys were pushing around the woman. I put my phone away, walked over to them and said, “Sarah, there you are. We’re late for our reservations!” I grabbed her arm to coaxed her to come. Site couldn’t get free, though.

The bigger of the guys, who we’ll call Biggy because he was a big, fat, angry guy, asked me who I was. I said a friend. We’ll call the medium-but-bigger-than-me guy “Middy.”

Now I’m not dumb. I was staying out of Biggy’s reach, and Middy wasn’t the angry one. And I’m very good at steering attention in a conversation, in this case, away from me. And I assume I can outrun a big fat guy, because everyone knows fat people are slow and honestly just don’t want to run…. it’s a lot of work!

Biggy kept urging me to fight him or whatever specific phrase he used. He wanted me to step out (go backwards) and fight him.

I almost did. Ha. Just kidding. Biggy’s right arm probably weighted as much as my right leg. I kept telling him, “No thank you. Keep coming this week way.”

90% of the time, there’s a Minneapolis police officer in the parking ramp. My plan was to bring him to the situation…..

Tonight was a 10% night. Crap ….

Luckily Biggy went back to the other two. I was too far away, so his attention was gone. I kept an eye on the trio. Perhaps they all knew each other. I don’t know.

Finally I saw what I was looking for – a police SUV. I ran up to then and told them there’s two big guys pushing a small woman about a half a block ahead. When they couldn’t see then, I just beckoned for them to follow me.

I’m glad they did. Their SUV was creeping down the street. The time the cop SUV was close enough to see the trio was right before Biggy had a fully wound-up punch that sent Middy on the ground, crumpled in a doorway.

The cops were there now. I just glared at Biggy as to say “Ha!” One cop was trying to keep me out of it.

“I’m just sbystander,” I said. “I did my job.”

The lady was comforting Middy, who was coherent.

Her eyes were saying, “Thank you.”

I reached out and grabbed her hand and said, “You’re welcome.”

“My name is Kelly. Thank you.”

Who knows where things would have gone if I was passive like I’m supposed to be. I love being me, making a difference.

At Alibi
At Alibi

The Story of Unique Ladies

Anyone who knows me, or is friends with me, sees me a lot, or let’s be honest, anyone who sees me talk to people ever, know that I like the ladies.

To be honest, despite what most people think, I don’t want to date anyone. I like people, and I want to get to know them. And yes, the possibility of dating is always on the back burner, but it’s definitely not the primary consideration or goal. Anyone will notice that I talk really well  (and more often, with more enthusiasm, and with more energy) with ladies. There’s just a higher probability that my efforts will result in a friend with a lady than a guy, so it’s much more efficient to befriend lady. Women are open and talk about not just clichés.

I have dated some awesome people. Some were simply angels and the nicest people I’ve ever known. I’m still great friends with them. The whole relationship thing didn’t work out for both of us. We were awesome and had a ton of fun.

Chronicles

There’s another story about women who I’d consider to be a life partner. It’s something else that I can’t define. It’s just a knowledge of compatibility. Kind of weird to explain.

I have “high standards,” but they’re only guiding principles, since, if I get that feeling, I’d go with it. My standard are just because I know the traits that generally lead to that feeling.

To be honest, that feeling is very, very rare. I’ve only had it a few times. 

Granted,  when it happens, I usually don’t know how to handle it because it never happens, and I get kind of excited. Or, there’s a timing issue (Toto).

I tend to really like incredibly intelligent women. They can hold great conversation. It’s important that their intelligence in a way similar to my intelligi.

Four years ago, I met an incredibly smart attorney.

Recently, I met a neurologist about whom I’m really excited.

Also, ladies about whom I become super excited tend to not be born in the States, or at least not in Minnesota.

They also tend to be absolutely beautiful. And they like to laugh with awesome conversation.

I’m pretty excited.

Point is, I’m happy. 

Still Not a Fan of Dicks

Tonight I hosted an event. The event was to go to a theater production, but I said, “Join me for Green Mill before the event.”

I had two people who did so.

The first one was named M. She was a young lady who worked in a nursing home. I didn’t want to date her, per se, but like most nice people, I wanted to know her better.

The second one was named Dick. Now, this is not the same Dick as in the post I Don’t Like Dicks from almost a year ago, but all Dicks are pretty similar.

meguyInstead of joining in the conversation, he pretty much just talked about himself. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate these guys, just trying to get in the good with the girl. Immediately, he sat next to her, and there was physical contact. Because he was ‘joking around’ (‘playing her’).

Unfortunately for me, I can’t stand these people because I really respect women. But it goes on. He kept on talking and talking about himself. Well, M studied abroad, and Dick wasn’t really saying anything relevant, so I asked M more about her job. Nothing big – just cliche Minnesota-nice subjects. Non-threatening.

So when M was telling me about her job, Dick interrupted laughing boisterously. Obviously, M & I stopped our conversation to see what was so funny, and Dick said, “On the way over here, I was thinking about a hilarious story that happened 2 years ago.”

It was a story about when he was doing valet in Saint Paul, dropped keys in a storm drain, and had to ask the neighbors for help. A lady gave him a coat hanger, which he “MacGyvered” (meaning bent) to get the keys.

“Okay. Cool. Decent Story,” thought I.

I asked M more about her international experience, as she studied abroad.

She quickly said it was in Scotland, and she didn’t have much of a chance to go elsewhere. I honestly wanted to hear about Scotland, but she asked, “What about you guys, have you traveled anywhere internationally?”

Naturally, I told her about my upcoming cruise in the Med and my trip last August to Paris, and listed my other European Trips.

At this point, Dick said to me, “You know, man, I’ve seen you around, and I thought you were cool, but you’re not…” He then proceeded to leave.

All I did was shift the focus away from him. Just like the last story about a Dick, he couldn’t handle someone interrupting his game. Instead of taking a shot of hot sauce, he just left.

Unfortunately, since it was only the three of us, the only way I could diffuse Dick is by shifting the focus to M or myself. This made M uncomfortable, and she left soon thereafter.

She missed a really good show.
She thought I was there to meet ladies, and I assure you I was not. Usually, there are more people one which to diffuse the spotlight. But she was uncomfortable after Dick left in a super pissed off mood.

I simply can’t stand Dicks because they are not respectful to anyone else in the conversation and only talk about themselves. Perhaps he had no international experience, but rather than saying, “I travel all over the US, but no where international,” he just left like a guy who couldn’t roll with it.

I will stand by my actions. It’s unfortunate that M felt uncomfortable, but it meant not letting Dick be a Dick, and to me that’s more important. I don’t like that Dicks try to play the ladies.

I’m not smooth like Dicks, but I am genuine, and I know how to treat people and do more than talk about myself. Dicks seem to get upset whenever I ask the lady about herself. This was exactly the same as the last time I wrote about a Dick.

I can spot a Dick from a mile away. Apparently ladies can’t.I feel like it’s my job to diffuse and call it the fact that he’s acting like, well, a Dick.

SpazDance: The Beginning

Many of you heard that tonight I just meandered around Target while I sipped my latte. I was chill, and it was a a good way to decompress. Toward the end, I stopped by the pharmacy to see if they had an old prescription. The cream for the redness in my face was on file, and they could prep it in 20 minutes.

So in all of my enjoyment of walking around with a latte, I decided to get another. If you weren’t aware of the math, one latte has two shots of espresso. By the time I got home, I was still in a calm state and focused, so I got some work done. Cool.

SpazDanceAbout an hour after I got home, I went to Dancer’s Studio for their weekly dance party, which is now 90 minutes. When I had four shots of espresso, I was calm, and it was good, but dancing excites me:
Hello stimulation! Hello four shots of caffeine sitting on the back burner!

As always when I dance, I had fun!
I danced every single song. Period. In my spazzy umph, I made up moves…. and they worked!

When I dance, I dance to have fun and to make my partner smile, Which I did every dance!

So for the rest of tax season, forget going out, socializing. Forget finding a nice lady friend.
I don’t have time, anyways.

The period of my fabled dance breaks will begin once again!

Dancing begins at 1:20. It’s awesome if you’ve never seen it.

A special thanks goes out to Troy for being a good DJ, as always, to Christine and a million other ladies for being incredible follows, and especially to Christine Hardcastle: I had two private lessons per week with Christine back in the day. I asked her to make me a good lead. Christine had a method making my madness move magnificently, and she did exactly what I asked.
Nowadays, I’m able to lead ladies incredibly well. Even those who are newer to dancing end up doing incredible things when led right.

Point is, I love dancing and will do it more!

Why the Lid Up Is (sometimes) Good

It’s an age old male/female issue.

I’ll start by saying that I automatically lower the lid. It’s not a big deal. My mom trained everyone.

Before I get to my main point, I don’t like double standards. If I have to put the lid down, then so should you. You want me to close it either because you don’t want to look before you sit and you’ve fallen in, you don’t want to go through the work of lowering the lid, or you don’t want to see how nasty the toilet is.

Since the first two are just from refusal to learn or laziness, respectively, in going to assume it’s because women are ladies and want everything to be prim and proper.

That’s fine. If you want the bathroom to look nicer, then lower the top lid too. I don’t want to look in the toilet bowl unless I’m using it. So on your high value of aesthetics, close the lid! It’s a double standard that bugs me. My toilet is cleaned everyday someone comes over. Yours isn’t.

Point is, women are gross and have double sstandard. This double standard has always bugged me. I’m saying it now. Women, you’re wrong.

The Main Point

Aside from my tirade, I’ll assert that there is an appropriate situation to leave the lid up.

I do it only for the benefit of women. That sounds contra-women’s intuition, I know, but let me explain.

In public restrooms, I try to always remember to leave the lid up.

bright bathroomPublic toilets, for whatever reason, have an opening between the left and right side of the sitting lid. I leave it up because I know some little kid (or let’s face it, some man-child) is going to think, “Wow! An opening just for me,” and will think he can aim. Let’s face it, he can’t. So he ends up messing up the seat.

So I leave the seat up in public, unisex restrooms so ladies don’t have to sit on lids that, unbeknownst to them, is caked with dry urine (hover much?).

Yeah, I leave the lid up (sometimes) because I’m considerate. Your welcome.

Prefect Late Night Snack

Maybe it’s my perpetually yearning sweet tooth.

Maybe it’s bad habit formed as a child from often having “ice cream before bed.”

Maybe late at night, my tummy has a grumble that makes Winnie the Pooh’s seem mute.

Whatever the reason, I love to have a snack late at night.

I’ve tried fruit, but I need the base to settle m my stomach.

Mikky does fine, but there’s still the sweet tooth.

The best thing, obviously, is a hot fudge sundae with Oreos some since delicious s’mores flavor of the day custard.

But being a man of health, longevity, and other awesome traits, I need a healthier solution!

IMG_20160210_233213587~2
Bad pic but w/e

Therefore, for there last couple weeks, I’ve been having a chocolate protein shake at the end of the night.

It’s healthy, delicious, and fulfills my food cravings.

So BOOM!

A healthy tax season or going well thus far!

Tasty Salad Plus

I love to have a tasty salad  (plus other toppings) that I can just grab in the fridge as I run out the door (yes, after I put some fresh toppings on our, etc.).

But what makes a salad great is its toppings. So I take

a fresh red pepper and have it ready to go.

Chop it up in slices, then cut those in half, and they’re about 4″ – perfect to add some flavor variety to your salad. They go well with many dressings, including french or even dabs of bbq sauce.

Peppers~2

This is not the mostenvironmentally friendly thing I do (very small containers would work well, like large pill capsules), buy I put groups of five or six mini sliced of pepper into a small bag.

Then I put the small bags into a larger freezer bag and put it in my freezer. Whenever I want a salad with Red peppers,I just grab a bag of peppers from the freezer, a bowl of salad from the fridge, and run out the door.

If it’s summer, the peppers will actually keep the rest of the salad at a good temperature.

Salad~2a
This is sitting right on top of my container of salad chicken (made with my Lean, Mean, Fat Reducing Salad Chicken Cooking Machine [™, almost, buy it’s the use of the Foreman after adjustment days] ).

Diet Revolution!

Swiss~Miss

This is the first REVOLUTION of this tax season. Usually, I munch on cookies, drink pop, coffee, and God only knows what other crap I eat.

See, I have a perpetual sweet tooth. No, yours isn’t the same. I’m talking cookies dipped in hot chocolate for lunch with a piece of chocolate cake for dessert. Last tax season was especially bad, but after this tax season, I’m planning on being in great shape, and just not fat. The difference? I’m just working for myself for the first time. Ever.

I’ve been running during the day because i can! It’s neat! It’s what working for yourself should be.

Balance Test

Balancebear

Someone’s when I go to the gym, I test my balance. How do I do that?

Try changing your shoes and socks without sitting down.

Okay, now try it without holding onto the wall (or anything else).

Good. Now try it without touching your free leg to your other leg. It’ll help if you make your standing leg not straight and locked.

Yes, including tying your shoes.

Some days I have enough balance, other days I don’t. But doing this probably looks as impressive as changing your shoes can look. They brings me to my next goal……….

Co-ed locker rooms!